The Looney Three
by preciouslittletoonette
Summary: After finding Bugs trapped with them in the Broken Arms Hotel, our favourite looney trio concoct a plan to finally break out of the hellish hotel and its even more hellish manager. But first things first, they have a party to crash. Takes place after Porky Pig's Feat. Based on a song from a Batman cartoon episode: Birds of Prey


**I was watching this old cartoon: 'Porky Pig's Feat on YouTube and it sparked this idea that I found absolutely hilarious**

.

**So this is how I imagined Bugs, Daffy and Porky got out**.

* * *

Daffy placed the phone back against the wall with a shocked expression as he and Porky stared at a chained up Bugs Bunny, who weakly grinned at the shock.

" Surprise, docs!", Bugs sang.

" What are you doing here? How even-"

" Leon's been looking for you guys all month. I've been here for about a week", Bugs explained chomping on his carrot," If we don't get back to the studio by tomorrow, we're studio-less toons".

Porky and Daffy gulped.

" Stho... how'd ya wind up here Bugsthy ol' pal?", Daffy asked casually.

" Martha said you docs were here so I came to get ya. But then that Fatso down front made me book a room and I left my wallet back at the set so... I gambled", Bugs stated.

" Sthnake eyesth got ya, didn't it?", Daffy said sympathetically.

" The game was rigged I tell ya", Bugs muttered.

" S-S-So g-g-great. N-n-now all three of us i-i-is-are stuck here", Porky grumbled.

Daffy sniffed," I wasth a sthar. People loved me. I could've won an Academy or two. Oh woo isth me, for my life isth asth sthort asth a chicken about to be roasthed", he mourned.

Bugs rolled his ball into their room and sat down on it, patting Daffy's back.

" T-T-The-There's got to be a way o-o-outta here", Porky said kicking a stool up and sat down.

" Eh, even if we do get out, Fatso's still got our bill. The Warners will have our hides when they see the fortune we costed them. Forget studio-less, we'll be lifeless if Jack gets a hand on our bills", Bugs said.

If the air wasn't already solemn, it practically spelled funeral in the air. The boys sat solemnly together, mourning possible lost stardom and lives. Porky sniffled before full out sobbing, hitting his head against the wall while walking away from his chained wall. But while sobbing, the tears managed to wet his ankle, setting him free from the chains. Bugs and Daffy's eyes widened.

" Porky you're-", Daffy was silenced when Bugs placed his hand on the former's bill.

" We might be able to use this to our advantage, c'mon doc", Bugs whispered before he and Daffy made their way over to Porky.

" Oh sweet sorrow, I barely got to live my life to the fullest, for I am only two years old 'cause this is 1942 and definitely not 2019", Bugs sniffled," I'm gonna die a youngin' and a virgin!".

" We were barely sthars! Justh sthartin' out. I've yet to tell our new baby sthisther how much I desthpisthe her", Daffy cried.

" We have a new sister", Bugs said, getting out of character.

" Sthoo! OH, THISTH IS A TRAGEDY, A GREAT DEVASTHATION. THERE WON'T EVEN BE A LAMENT TO OUR NAME!", Daffy said dramatically, causing Porky to cry harder.

Bugs and Daffy grinned when they saw the waterfall of tears fall onto their chains. When they decided it was wet enough, they quickly slipped out of their chains and cheered at the small freedom.

" Porky, my pal, you're our hero!", Daffy cheered.

Porky, who was still sniffling after a heavy crying fest," W-W-What d-did I do?", he asked confused.

" Ya excessive crying had set us free doc... well... from the chains that is", Bugs said before looking at the door," Now we gotta find a way to get out of this room".

" Leave that to me, fellasth!", Daffy said rolling up his 'sleeves' and spitting into his hands before rubbing them together.

He ran all the way to the back of the room before running forward, ready to bash the door down. But before he reached the door, he came to a halting stop, pulled out a key and unlocked the door.

" Lovely timing, duck", Bugs complimented.

" Why thank you", Daffy said taking a bow, letting his bill hit the floor.

The boys peeked out of the room carefully before Bugs took the first step out, followed by Daffy and Porky respectively.

" Heh, thought it'd be more guarded", Bugs said scratching his head.

" Oi! What are you doing outta your rooms!"

" YIPE!", the boys screamed before dashing down the stairs.

" Ya justh had to point that out huh!", Daffy exclaimed.

" I didn't think that gag would woik!", Bugs explained.

They made it to the bottom floor and dashed into the maintenance room before the guards could see where they went. They sighed in relief when they saw the guards head in the opposite direction.

" Where are we?", Bugs asked.

" Well, let'sth sthee with my trusthy map", Daffy said as he pulled a map from behind his back," Now let'sth sthee here, we were here... wait where'sth the sthairsth? Probably too cheap to add that in, thosthe little cheap motherf-".

" D-Daffy, you're holding the m-m-map upside down!", Porky exclaimed.

" Oh right", Daffy said sheepishly.

" According to the map, we're backstage of the showstage in the party room", Bugs said," I think Fatso mentioned something 'bout a party".

" A party?! Well what are waiting for?! Let'sth hop to it! Woohoo wooho-", Daffy's cheering was cut off by Bugs grabbing hold of the former's bill.

" We can't just go out there, doc", Bugs scolded.

" B-B-Bugs is right, Daff. T-The manager will s-s-s-scew-skin us if he finds us there", Porky reasoned," We need to get out of here.

" Well my suggestion originally was that we wear disguises", Bugs said grinning.

" Let'sth do Bugsth' idea!", Daffy said, eyes sparkling.

* * *

" I-I-I don't k-know about this fellas", Porky said nervously.

They had snatched the dresses of unsuspecting ladies earlier (it was quite a show) and were currently getting ready.

Porky was obviously more than nervous about the whole putting on a dress situation, but Bugs and Daffy were just too ecstatic about the idea.

Bugs walked out confidently, tucking a lock of blond hair back in its place. He tapped his foot impatiently.

" C'mon fellas, I don't know how long this Acme Instant Breast Spray thing will woik!", Bugs hollered.

" I-I look ridiculous!", Porky exclaimed.

" Nonsthense, you make a very gorgeous woman", Daffy said as he walked out.

Porky walked out, hands covering face as he tried to hide his shame, but that high slit almost made Bugs burst out in laughter.

Bugs whistled," Who's that sexy mama in the elegant red dress?", he said teasingly.

" S-S-Stop that!", Porky snapped before sighing," L-l-l-look f-fellas, I'm t-t-t-the straightman. T-T-The w-word of r-r-reason. I-I-I d-d-don't do the things y-you two do r-r-re-regu- all the time".

" You're just sayin' that 'cause you got no confidence in yaself, doc", Bugs said as he crouched next to Porky.

" Luckily, you got two of the mosth confident toonsth in the world asth your coworkersth/friendsth/brothers. We're gonna help give ya confidence", Daffy said determined," Okay Pork, repeat after me: I'm the reasthon the word 'sthexy' existhsth".

" R-R-Really?"

" Just do it", Bugs pushed," It'll help doc, trust me".

" F-F-Fin- Alright. I'm the r-r-reason the word... s-sexy exists", Porky said quietly.

" Louder"

" I'm the r-reason the word s-s-sexy exists"

" I can't hear you. A little louder pal"

" I'm the reason the word s-s-sexy exists!"

" Louder baby, louder! SCREAM IT TIL HEAVEN SHAKES!"

" I'M THE REASON THE WORD SEXY EXISTS!", Porky exclaimed," I'm beautiful, I'm stunning, I'm drop dead gorgeous! I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!".

" That'sth the sthpirit", Daffy exclaimed.

" C'mon boys, we got a party to crash", Porky said strutting away confidently.

" Our lil' flower blossomed, Daff", Bugs said tearing up.

" I'm stho proud of our lil' piglet", Daffy said sniffling.

" Now let's go crash this party", Bugs said grinning after the small dramatics.

The boys went up a flight of stairs carefully, wandering where to head to next before the curtains opened to let in the light. The boys stared on in horror when they found themselves looking at a large crowd gawking at them.

" Whoopsth", Daffy murmured.

Their eyes scanned the crowd until they found one large toon sitting at a table with two girls on either side.

" Oh... big whoopsth", Daffy murmured faintly as he felt his stare," Any ideas Bugsthy ol' pal?".

Bugs glanced at the band who gawked at them as well," ...Just one...", he said slowly," Hit it!".

The band started up and Bugs walked forward, confident in every step.

" Follow my lead", he muttered.

Bugs:

_Good evening all you gentlemen_

_Readers, betas and toons_

Daffy:

_The Looney Tunes_

_Come after you_

_And still you're off the hook_

Porky:

_For those who are scared and terrorized_

_It's the dawn of a brand new day!_

Bugs, Daffy Porky:

_You poor souls can simply call us!_

_The wonderful Looney Three!_

Everyone blinked and leaned in interested in the three 'women' singing. Particularly Mr Manager.

Bugs:

_Lil' ol' Marvin has his special ray_

Daffy Porky:

_Pretty strong that little thing!_

Porky:

_Poor Cecil's deeds are in his swell_

Daffy:

_But who will bring him outta his sthell_!

Bugs:

_Speedy's bold_

_But yet he finishes last_

Daffy:

_Too bad sthometimes he's too just fasth_

Everyone laughed at the small jabs.

Bugs, Daffy Porky:

_While all the boys can always save the day_

_No one does it better than the Looney Three_

_(The wonderful Looney Three!)_

_While all the boys can always save the day_

_No one does it better_

_No one does it better than the Looney Three!_

Bugs:

_Elmer Fudd's got saving traits_

_That is... when he's shootin' straight_

Daffy:

_Nice one!_

Bugs:

_Thanks_

Porky:

_Yosemite Sam's always courageous_

Daffy:

_His lil' gun_

_Less outrageous_

Porky:

_Foghorn Leghorn can't expand_

Bugs, Daffy Porky:

_He's 'comes putty_

_In our hands!_

(Again)

_While all the boys can keep you kids at bay_

_No one does it better than the Looney Three_

_(The wonderful Looney Three)_

_While all the boys can always save the day_

_No one does it better..._

_No one does it better than the Looney Three!_

Bugs signalled Porky and Daffy and lowkey pointed at the little debt book in the lovesick manager's pocket. They nodded and walked off the stage towards the big guy.

Porky:

_Porky's got his tie and blazer_

_Always lookin' sharp as a razor_

Daffy:

_The laugh that Daffy always belts_

_Sure can make a girl'sth heart melt_

Bugs:

_Bugs is always there to save the day_

_I'd like to see his burrow someday_

Bugs, Daffy and Porky:

_Well Bugs, Pork and Daffy_

_Do things in their special way_

_No one does it better than the Looney Three_

_(The wonderful Looney Three)_

_While Bugs, Porky and Daffy_

_Can always save the day_

_No one does it better_

_No one does it better than the Looney Three!_

_Looney Three..._

Daffy:

_Woo... Hoo..._

The audience applauded the trio who all sat seductively on the table. Bugs winked down at the bashful manager before climbing off with Daffy and Porky.

" Ya got the book, right?", Bugs whispered.

" Yeah. Who knew Daddy Clampett's pickpocket skill would come in handy" Daffy said as he handed Bugs the book.

" WHERE IS MY BOOK!!"

" Uh oh", the boys said in unison.

" J-J-Just calmly l-l-l-lea- move b-b-before he notices", Porky said, his stutter returning.

" You three!"

" Yipe", they said quietly.

" Hit the deck boysth!", Daffy said as he practically threw Bugs and Porky over his shoulder before zooming out to the exit, wig falling off in the process.

" T-T-T-That's all folks!", Porky exclaimed while Daffy ran crazily through the streets.

* * *

The boisterous laughter of the Looney Tunes rocked the lounge of Bugs' burrow where they all gather.

" I can't believe you managed to get Porky in a dress", Lola laughed.

" N-N-Never again", Porky muttered while Daffy snickered.

" Now I really want to hear that song you three sang", Foghorn said wiping a tear away, curious to hear the performance for themselves.

Bugs looked at the readers with a knowing smile," Eh, another day Fog, another day..."

* * *

**I should feel ashamed for that rushed ending but I mainly did this for fun. I hope you enjoyed and leave a review with your thoughts. Have a good day/night.**


End file.
